Did you ever feel that your partner was speaking a totally different language to you? If you yell in English and your partner interprets in Martian, it’s as if they speak a completely different language. It’s a situation we have all experienced. What ever you call this dance, there is no manual. But, don’t worry. Couples counselors Connections can help you learn to dance.
Take this example: You dropped your ice cream. Now you’re distraught. Doesn’t this seem silly? It’s amazing how easily we allow minor problems to snowball. Little things, like a text message that was not returned in less than five minutes and if your partner forgot to bring you cereal for breakfast can easily escalate into bigger problems. Your counselor will help you sort the wheat out of the chaff. This allows you to focus your energies on the things that really matter.
When I first heard of it, a couple had an intense argument over where to put the spoons. Yeah, spoons. This is usually the case, but there’s often a lot more to it. Feeling unappreciated is one possible reason. Another could be that the person wants to gain some control of chaos. This chaos can be turned into calm with a little help from an experienced, wise third-party.
A counseling session can be likened to the opening of windows in an overcrowded room. New air floods into the room, and finally you can breathe. It is in this environment that honest communication blossoms, giving each partner a chance speak up and be heard. Be prepared for some surprises. Perhaps your partner will reveal that they love pizza with pineapple. Why didn’t you know earlier, right?
Obvious jokes notwithstanding, getting advice does not mean that you’re giving up. In fact, it’s an effective strategy for preparing yourself to fight future battles. You can use these sessions in a proactive way, to equip you with the right tools and techniques for fixing cracks that could otherwise become deep crevices.
The magic of verbalizing emotions before someone you don’t know, who has no stake in your outcome is something to behold. Saying how you feel about your partner’s interminable morning routine will be easier. When you express your feelings in an constructive manner, it can make all the difference. Critiques become conversation starters.
Here are a couple of myths to dispel. A counseling session does not solve all issues immediately. This won’t transform your relationship into a poster child of perfect love. You can laugh at yourself if it seemed so easy. However, it does encourage deep reflection. Introspection is the first step to understanding. Understand, dear friend. It is gold.
The act of being heard, seen and understood by a therapist can sometimes rekindle flames. The simplest stories can unravel knotted misunderstandings.
You can use the power of humor even if it seems like a difficult session. The counselor can often help to bring lightness into dark situations. Maybe you laugh when you realize that you painted your living rooms the wrong green shade.
Relationships that are successful in today’s world of constant love, and revolving, don’t happen by accident. You need courage, sweat, laughs, and yes, maybe a bit of tough talk. Then, if it feels like you are two ships sailing by in the dark, build that bridge. A bridge can be a great neutral ground for couples therapy.
It’s a great place to talk about your dreams with someone, share your experiences, and find peace. Understand the dance of romance takes two. Sometimes, adding a ‘third person’ makes it that much more sweet.